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(BlumHouse.Com) In Defense of FREDDY’S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE!

Read the partial excerpt here written by Roger Barr, below and catch the whole story @

Another Elm Street tale I came across recently that just makes me feel tingly all over... or maybe makes my head want to explode, not quite sure which one yet though LOL.

 

Freddy Krueger has always been my horror hero. Unlike many of the muted madmen in the slasher genre, such as Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers, Freddy was extremely vocal about his kills. He didn’t just terrify his victims with physical pain, he got into their heads as well................ The Map!

We all know how Freddy loves messing with people’s minds, and when some teenagers in the movie are stuck driving in one of his endless dream loops, they decide to consult the map.

Carlos pulls out a paper map – for you younglings, printed maps are what we had long before cell phones and Google Maps came into play – and begins to unfold it in hopes of figuring out which way to go. Instead, the map keeps unfolding until Carlos finds himself completely surrounded by a never-ending mega map. He grabs a hold of one of the sections and notices that it has the words

“YOU’RE FUCKED!” written in blood.

When his friends ask him what the map says, Carlos wakes up, throws the map to the ground, and exclaims, “Yeah, well, the map says we’re fucked!” I’ll never not laugh at this scene. Never. Freddy’s one-liners simply never disappoint.

Death Via Hearing Aid!

For an Elm Street flick, the body count in FREDDY’S DEAD is extremely low, and though the kills may be few in number, they’re certainly memorable. Carlos is one of the unfortunate souls who falls victim to Freddy’s twisted antics, and this time it’s at the expense of his hearing – or lack thereof.

When he was younger, Carlos’ mother would clean out his ears with cotton swabs, which resulted in hearing loss so substantial that he had to wear a hearing aid for the rest of his life. Mom of the year, anyone? Naturally, his hearing aid was perfect fodder for Freddy. First, ol’ Fred jabs an extra long cotton swab so deep into Carlos’ ear that it pops out the other side of his head.

We’re then treated to Freddy comically sneaking around behind a now completely deaf Carlos as he makes his way through the boiler room. Freddy eventually returns the hearing aid to Carlos, but with some slight modifications. It latches on to Carlos’ one remaining good ear like a miniature facehugger and amplifies sound tremendously. And that’s when Freddy ramps up the fun. He tortures Carlos by dropping a single pin for starters. Sure, most people wouldn’t hear it, but with the Freddy hearing aid, that pin makes an extremely loud whistling noise. He then dumps out a full handful of pins, causing Carlos to drop to his knees, writhing in pain.

The coup de grâce, however, is when Freddy whips out a chalk board and cartoonishly stretches it out to a larger size. He then begins scraping it with his razor glove, and while the sound is hard enough for audiences to listen to, the shrill tone makes poor Carlos’ agonized head pulsate so heavily that it eventually explodes.

“Nice hearing from ya, Carlos!”, Freddy laughs. It’s a classic Krueger kill that still holds up today, and is easily one of the most amusing scenes in the entire film.


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